and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
