he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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