What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
