check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
