The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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