My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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