i permit you to call me
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
