If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Randomize
