I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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