the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
