whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
