It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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