I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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