i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
