Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
if only i could text you this smell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize