Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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