I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
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