you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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