grandma shit on top of the toilet
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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