lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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