i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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