Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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