ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
