I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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