oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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