the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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