No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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