Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Randomize
