Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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