He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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