seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
