whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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