Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
