OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
