Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
