the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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