Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
