Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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