Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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