shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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