Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
