Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
