physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
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Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
And my parents said I crawled through the house
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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