What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
