I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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