My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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