Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
