Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I'm always down for nudity.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
