You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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