That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
