By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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