Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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