I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
