It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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