Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
