So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
