And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
