Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
