Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
