Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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