Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
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He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize