He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Hippo gnu deer
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
