I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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